I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
