Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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