is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize