He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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