So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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