kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
