I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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