I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
