did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nicole vs. Life
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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