I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
this just has baby written all over it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
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