i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
