Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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