can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
