Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
