I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
