My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
