Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
