what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
