Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
