since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
