he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
