its not stalking. its research.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
