chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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