I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
