O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
