Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
