It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
