i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
