he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
