One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
