Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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