Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
