Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
