Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
