There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
