You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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