She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
