ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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