I puked a lego.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
