The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
