oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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