there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
