you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
