he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
