11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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