I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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