I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
