I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
