We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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