I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
