I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
