i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
