college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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