I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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