..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
