I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
