Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
