I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
How's work?
Spinning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
