i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
3 2 1 whiskey
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
