As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
only if we run a train.
done.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
