After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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